“We stand on a precipice, then before a chasm, and as we wait it becomes higher, wider, deeper, but I am crazy enough to think it doesn’t matter which way we leap because when we leap we will have learned to fly. Is that blasphemy or faith?”
Diane Arbus
Happy International Women’s day from me and my dear friend who humored my need to photograph this weekend.
A few years ago I read an entire book before realizing I had already read it. I looked back at my Goodreads read list and realized I had no memory of about half of the books on there. So I built a new habit – (almost) every time I finish a book, I word-vomit my thoughts and emotions into a note on my phone. Sometimes they’re brief, sometimes they’re long-longwinded, sometimes they just ramble…and now I’m putting them here. Please enjoy the madness.
SPOILERS AHEAD…
This book started weird and got weirder and weirder. First, I will say, I did like the book. The magic of it felt nice. And I think the messages it meant to get across were nice too. I even like the way it ended kind of without ending (I told you, spoilers). Loved the main character. Overall, it was a fun book to read and there was a point where the plot thickened and I felt like I couldn’t really put it down because I wanted to see what was going to happen.
But…I feel like it was intentionally confusing, bouncing between stories, which is sometimes warranted because then when the pieces finally fall into place, it feels like a light coming on in a dim room. I don’t feel like I got that with this. The whole time you’re kind of like who is what and where and what’s real and after finishing it, I felt like I didn’t have answers….but I also felt like I should. I think rereading would reveal some stuff I missed. And that could also be more on me than on the book itself.
I enjoyed Night Circus just a little bit more than this one but the same elements that made that book beautiful are still here. There’s almost a child-like whimsy to the magic of this world (I think the author said they are both set in the same universe). The stuff that happens is on the level of “I had the weirdest dream last night…” stories.
A few years ago I read an entire book before realizing I had already read it. I looked back at my Goodreads read list and realized I had no memory of about half of the books on there. So I built a new habit – (almost) every time I finish a book, I word-vomit my thoughts and emotions into a note on my phone. Sometimes they’re brief, sometimes they’re long-longwinded, sometimes they just ramble…and now I’m putting them here. Please enjoy the madness.
SPOILERS AHEAD…
This book grabbed me as soon as I opened it and never really let me go. I liked the way it dramatically hinted at a big twist – usually that feels gimmicky and doesn’t play well but I think this book pulled it off. And I didn’t guess it before it was revealed. I tangentially thought who could be involved but didn’t fully get there, which I enjoyed. One big, obvious theme in the book is that nothing is clear cut and no person is one thing or another. Clarity and precision are important because too often people want to put you into their own boxes and label you a certain way and if you don’t direct them, they will. Everyone has a default idea of the world and themselves and other people. Evelyn was in some ways always fully clear cut on exactly who she was and what she wanted and what she was willing to do for it.
Even her hiding her love was in some ways a very true expression of who she was. And that was one of the greatest draws of the book – how real it felt. It peeled back the surface of fame without attempting to paint is as all glamour or all fake. We all perform in some way. We all hurt and love and use others to our advantage in some way. Everyone is the center of their own universe but some people are more embracing of it.
A few years ago I read an entire book before realizing I had already read it. I looked back at my Goodreads read list and realized I had no memory of about half of the books on there. So I built a new habit – (almost) every time I finish a book, I word-vomit my thoughts and emotions into a note on my phone. Sometimes they’re brief, sometimes they’re long-longwinded, sometimes they just ramble…and now I’m putting them here. Please enjoy the madness.
SPOILERS AHEAD…
I hope Madeline Miller continues to rewrite the history of the gods. I’ve always been interested in greek mythology and I really enjoy the way she brings the myths to life. This story of Achilles and Patroclus was so raw and full of love. She manages to make them into real people who love and fight and suffer and also just live – spitting olive pits at each other and laughing in the tent their first night on Troy’s beaches when they know death is coming. When reading history and mythology, it is easy for every character to feel adult and wise but they were young and it was refreshing to read them that way. The questions of what it means to be mortal vs immortal and the burden that godliness puts onto someone was interesting to explore. Glory comes at a cost.
A few years ago I read an entire book before realizing I had already read it. I looked back at my Goodreads read list and realized I had no memory of about half of the books on there. So I built a new habit – (almost) every time I finish a book, I word-vomit my thoughts and emotions into a note on my phone. Sometimes they’re brief, sometimes they’re long-longwinded, sometimes they just ramble…and now I’m putting them here. Please enjoy the madness.
SPOILERS AHEAD…
I loved this book. I knew exactly who the killer was going to turn out to be from the start but sometimes you need to read something that doesn’t challenge you. And it’s nice to see a realistic female main character written by a woman.
I only have one other Sue Grafton and now I’m wishing I had picked up all of the ones I saw at the library sale where I got these.
When I was a child, somebody put a big, blue plastic camera in my grubby hands. I got older and the cameras got fancier and I “studied” photography in high school then college and I took a LOT of photos. So now I’m going to post my photos in no particular order with stories that may or may not have something to do with what’s in them – my new experiment in creative confidence.
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(Continued from here)
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I don’t remember what we did that night. Probably picked out movies and puzzles for the trip. And a book on tape to get us through the drive.
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In the morning, we stopped at a bagel shop. Mary and I stood next to each other gazing bleary eyed into the refrigerator looking for a drink. Then in unison, we said “Oooh, peach-orange tea!”
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And that’s how Mary and I became friends.
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The beauty of the trip was that I didn’t have to make appearances at dinners or kiss babies or squeeze into the family photo. I just mixed piña coladas, soaked up the sun, read a few books, and existed.
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I’ve gone with them almost every year since.
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Ashley comes too. And for a week, we are three grown-ass women sleeping in bunk beds. We put together puzzles and watch movies and make friendship bracelets.
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When it’s our turn to make dinner, I make the main dish, Mary makes a side, and Ashley tackles dessert. We used to all cook together but I kept rechopping the things I gave to Mary and apparently that’s not fun for her.
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📷 This is also photo of life at the beach.
A few years ago I read an entire book before realizing I had already read it. I looked back at my Goodreads read list and realized I had no memory of about half of the books on there. So I built a new habit – (almost) every time I finish a book, I word-vomit my thoughts and emotions into a note on my phone. Sometimes they’re brief, sometimes they’re long-longwinded, sometimes they just ramble…and now I’m putting them here. Please enjoy the madness.
SPOILERS AHEAD…
Stephanie Danler makes me want to write. She tells her stories with such ease. They flow so well from one thought to another and even when it seems like the two pieces wouldn’t naturally follow each other, somehow they work. The way she understands the world and herself and how her life has shaped her doesn’t come with the arrogance that memoirs are always in danger of dipping toward. Or the cliches. She can be self aware without being boastful of it. She can explain pain and damage in such a raw way that it’s hard not to relate. Her story and the way she tells it gets right down into the depths of what it means to be a child and a parent and how it’s all so fragile.
The things parents do for their children to make them turn out well is such an amazing sacrifice and doing it or not doing it has an extreme effect on a human life (multiple, really). And the ways we are bound to these people no matter what, no matter how they damage us. I had a happy childhood but I was still struck by the way she breaks those relationships wide open. She talks about her self the way we all talk in our heads but cant quite articulate and would almost never say to others. Just like in her fiction, it feels like she’s telling more truth than her own. And it was so honest. I just loved every part of it.
When I was a child, somebody put a big, blue plastic camera in my grubby hands. I got older and the cameras got fancier and I “studied” photography in high school then college and I took a LOT of photos. So now I’m going to post my photos in no particular order with captions that may or may not have something to do with what’s in them – my new experiment in creative confidence.
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Have you ever gone on a family vacation with someone else’s family?
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When you go on vacation with your family, its a lot of catching up and traditions and usually some sort of occasion. I love seeing my family.
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But when you go on vacation with a family that isn’t yours, it’s different. There’s no obligation. There’s just time.
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A few years ago, Mary’s family absorbed me into their yearly beach vacation. We drove down to the outer banks, stopping at Morris’s for peaches and pickles and popcorn on the way, and stayed for an entire week.
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I had just graduated college, just had my first big breakup, and just spent a couple months at my first full time job. And I had only met Mary two or three times before this trip. It’s a long story but basically, Ashley – who I actually knew – was supposed to go. She had to cancel.
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When Mary called to tell me I’d be the only non-family member going and she understood if it felt too strange, I did what any 20-something does with a fresh dilemma – went home and told mommy.
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I asked her if she thought it was weird to go. I was packed. I’d already asked for the days off of work. Really, I wanted to go. But I thought it would be weird.
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Mom said it would be fine. She told my brother to drop me off at Mary’s the night before we left and if I changed my mind by morning, they could always pick me up.
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So I went.
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To be continued…
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📷 This is a photo of life at the beach.
A few years ago I read an entire book before realizing I had already read it. I looked back at my Goodreads read list and realized I had no memory of about half of the books on there. So I built a new habit – (almost) every time I finish a book, I word-vomit my thoughts and emotions into a note on my phone. Sometimes they’re brief, sometimes they’re long-longwinded, sometimes they just ramble…and now I’m putting them here. Please enjoy the madness.
SPOILERS AHEAD…
I don’t know if I fully understand this book (which mostly just means it was unusual). But it was incredible. And incredibly “readable” – I finished it in two days, which is rare for me. It had just the right amount of suspense and I didn’t see the twist coming. The imagery was beautiful and overall the book itself is bursting with creativity. I enjoyed the imaginative ways that Red and Blue exchanged letters. It was as if the messages themselves were not fully the point – the ways they found to deliver them were just as important, creating the entire experience of their exchanges with each other, showing their personalities and shared humors. The dynamic between Red and Blue was beautifully done and I really enjoyed the way the two writers pulled it off. Very unique.
Overall I would have liked a bit more world building but mostly because I am so curious about the questions it leaves unanswered. Then again, was that the point? And would lengthy explanation have dragged down the pace? I can definitely see how it would have detracted from the structure that put most of the focus on the actual letters between Red and Blue, in which any overt explanations about the world around them could have easily felt forced.
It felt almost like a short story even at nearly 200 pages. The reference to Romeo and Juliet was a little on the nose but I also liked it because of the implication that it ends differently in different realities – I feel like anytime you read R&J (or watch it play out on screen) there is some small part of you that wants it to change – and this kind of delivered satisfaction for that.
The references made throughout are so well-placed and clever and funny – “The Prophets” and their words of wisdom, the inevitability of Atlantis. I ended up loaning the book out to a friend who I knew would enjoy it but with the explicit intention that we have a conversation about it. That has me wanting to reread it too.
A few years ago I read an entire book before realizing I had already read it. I looked back at my Goodreads read list and realized I had no memory of about half of the books on there. So I built a new habit – (almost) every time I finish a book, I word-vomit my thoughts and emotions into a note on my phone. Sometimes they’re brief, sometimes they’re long-longwinded, sometimes they just ramble…and now I’m putting them here. Please enjoy the madness.
SPOILERS AHEAD…
“What is freedom?” I made a note of that in this book when the main character is considering being “free” in slavery vs. confined in freedom. This was the darkest of the three books I read in a row. All had their violence but The Water Dancer was much more poetic and obviously had a happier ending and Kindred didn’t center around an actual slave. Both of those also got more tied up with a bow than this. I do wonder a bit what my impression would be if I hadn’t read those first. This one felt like it took a more traditional stance on slave owners being horrendous and irredeemable while the others (to some degree) looked at them as a product of their time, even victims of it in their own way. This book really drove home the hopelessness of slavery.
No matter where you went, there was the threat of being dragged back (except possibly the west? Were there slaves there?) It highlighted an interesting concept of black people who were also part of the slavery machine, actively helping to keep others in chains. And the prejudice of slaves who earned their freedom toward those who ran. It reminds me of the current immigration debate where I have seen immigrants talk about how wrong it is for people to come in illegally. I would have thought that someone who had been through it would be more sympathetic but it may foster more of an “if I did it right so can they” stance.
It’s hard to tell if she had a happy ending or if it just ended. I guess that’s kind of the point though? I also found the underlying hatred toward her mother an interesting choice. Was she justified in it? Was it a defense mechanism? It also didn’t diminish once she herself ran and saw the demands of it and the danger and how having a child with you would make it impossible…again, going through it didn’t seem to make her more sympathetic to someone else who had. The mother’s true fate was heartbreaking. And shows the importance of the story we tell ourselves and perspective.