A few years ago I read an entire book before realizing I had already read it. I looked back at my Goodreads read list and realized I had no memory of about half of the books on there. So I built a new habit – (almost) every time I finish a book, I word-vomit my thoughts and emotions into a note on my phone. Sometimes they’re brief, sometimes they’re long-longwinded, sometimes they just ramble…and now I’m putting them here. Please enjoy the madness.
Another great memoir from an author with a very unique life experience. It was interesting to hear about such a life transition directly from someone who has lived in two different worlds. She points out the fact that what she is writing about now she did not possess the words to write about before and I think that’s a key insight. Few people work their way through such transitions and come out of the other side with a desire to share it in such a way.
One thing I have found is very difficult for people to understand is the motivations that others feel due to religion and connection to family. When someone else is coming from a wildly different background than we are, it can be exceptionally difficult to understand how they think and how their background influences their actions differently then ours.
This seems especially true in cases of more extreme religious upbringing. But as a friend and I were discussing, think about how you would react if you literally believed that the soul of a loved one would be doomed to hell for doing something or behaving a certain way. Just because we may not see the world that way, doesn’t make it wrong or insane.
I was weeping at the line about her father’s reaction to her moving overseas – that he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to get to her when the world began to end. Because even if you think he is insane (even if he is potentially diagnosable), his actions come from love. He did what he did out of fear for his family’s safety and he reacted how he reacted out of love and fear for and toward his daughter – the same kind of love my father has for me and most father’s have for their daughters. Seeing how she balanced (or struggled) with the push and pull of loving her family but feeling the need to get out and disagreeing with their ideals was a rare, authentic look at the grey areas in life.