A few years ago I read an entire book before realizing I had already read it. I looked back at my Goodreads read list and realized I had no memory of about half of the books on there. So I built a new habit – (almost) every time I finish a book, I word-vomit my thoughts and emotions into a note on my phone. Sometimes they’re brief, sometimes they’re long-longwinded, sometimes they just ramble…and now I’m putting them here. Please enjoy the madness.
SPOILERS AHEAD…
This book grabbed me as soon as I opened it and never really let me go. I liked the way it dramatically hinted at a big twist – usually that feels gimmicky and doesn’t play well but I think this book pulled it off. And I didn’t guess it before it was revealed. I tangentially thought who could be involved but didn’t fully get there, which I enjoyed. One big, obvious theme in the book is that nothing is clear cut and no person is one thing or another. Clarity and precision are important because too often people want to put you into their own boxes and label you a certain way and if you don’t direct them, they will. Everyone has a default idea of the world and themselves and other people. Evelyn was in some ways always fully clear cut on exactly who she was and what she wanted and what she was willing to do for it.
Even her hiding her love was in some ways a very true expression of who she was. And that was one of the greatest draws of the book – how real it felt. It peeled back the surface of fame without attempting to paint is as all glamour or all fake. We all perform in some way. We all hurt and love and use others to our advantage in some way. Everyone is the center of their own universe but some people are more embracing of it.